It's been so long since I've written anything I think that's why I feel so blue lately. The idea of writing dances around my head all day, everything I do I think about how the words would fit on a page. What they would sound like when they're all put together but then they get jumbled up and I can't think straight and the urge to write becomes me not wanting to put my heart and soul into something due to fear of being judged.
Recently I've discovered something about myself. I live in constant fear of not being liked. I want people to like me but when you think about it, not eveyone is going to like you... What's that Dita Von Teese quote, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” I'm trying to be better at this. I'm trying to speak up about things. I'm the type of person that would go along with something purely because I don't want to be a hassle for someone else. It's really not a good habbit to be in. This is all coming from a girl who is known by her friends as the angry feminist. I will talk till the hills become mountains to my friends about feminism and equal rights for woman because I feel so strongly about it, but once to comes to me being treated like a real life person I push myself to the side. I want to start writing, not just about novels but about everything I want to talk about. I'm tired of feeling like I'm alone. Maybe someone who feels the same as me will read something I write and feel like there's someone who understands because trust me, I understand. I don't want to feel like a waste of space anymore.
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